When a trivial spat between myself and a manager turned into a full-blown legal battle (which I won by a knockout) I was forced to find a new job and ended up taking a position with a publisher in north London. I live in Shrewsbury, and with two days in the office a week (staying in south London overnight) I’d be racking up about 1,600 miles a month, largely along motorways, but in no small part threading through the stinking, congested arteries of the North and South Circular.

"The smaller BMWs, Kawasaki’s Versys, the V-Strom and Yam’s Tracer don’t get close the NC in terms of mpg"

I could have done all this on my Ninja, but to be honest I wanted to spare it the mechanical grief that comes with so much filtering, not to mention the pot-holed catastrophe that constitutes a quite substantial amount of England’s highways these days. I looked around for something different and settled on the Honda NC750X. Why? In a word, ‘economy’. The main rivals – the smaller BMWs, Kawasaki’s Versys, the V-Strom and Yam’s Tracer – don’t get close the NC in terms of mpg and this was and remains a very important consideration.

​The big question: should I have put up with higher fuel bills for a better and more satisfying alternative? Read on to find out (but the short answer is no, the Honda is brilliant).

The Jazz lump
A lot of people have said a lot of good things about the mid-weight Honda, but when it is criticised, that criticism is directed at one thing and one thing only; the engine. It is claimed to be the lump from a Honda Jazz, dissected and shoe-horned into a bike frame. That’s why it gives such excellent mpg and also why it runs out of puff at about 5,000 rpm.

And that limited rev range is, according to some, unforgivable. It makes the bike boring, soulless, a tedious mule for newcomers to the fraternity who want a safe option to learn the ropes before they graduate to a GS.

I disagree and I do so with thinly veiled contempt. You would have to be an absolute cretin to find fault in this engine, given the purpose of the motorcycle. Only an inveterate bike snob could complain about the way the NC750X goes about its duties. The NC is punchy, but not violent; capable but not ostentatious, fast enough for towns or motorways, but without the risk of jail time if you get carried away.

"You would have to be an absolute cretin to find fault in this engine, given the purpose of the motorcycle"
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I am aghast that a motor of such competence could be dismissed as ‘soulless’ because it doesn’t redline at 15,000 and operate in a 2,000 rpm powerband between 9-11 – but then again we live in an age when many motorcyclists need 190bhp at the back wheel, coupled with a terabyte of processing power to keep their machines upright. The NC was not designed with the pub-bragging crowd in mind and it is all the better for it.

You could kill yourself on the NC, but it would have to be a fairly deliberate act, or one informed by considerable stupidity. It is true that the engine redlines at six and half, but that is hardly a problem; certainly not as much of a problem as I found the engine in my old R6 to be, which would practically stall if you didn’t keep it ‘ticking over’ above 7. Which is more rewarding for most people’s daily ride? A bike that offers useable power at legal speeds, or one that only operates screaming its nuts off in the mid teens? I have ridden both and I can assure you, day in day out, it’s the former.

"My ride from Shrewsbury to Enfield, then on to Crystal Palace - a distance of 180 miles, give or take - never costs me more than £14" 

There is nothing drab or dull about the NC750’s engine. It is mature but not moribund; smooth, capable and polite, but not to the point of being apologetic. This engine has nothing to apologise for and it doesn’t need me or anyone else to make excuses on its behalf.
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Ah, deep breaths Turner…zen…Let’s summarise: this…. is a good…. motorcycle engine. There. Time to move on, to discuss the practicalities of owning a Honda NC750X.

Practicalities, costs etc, stuff that matters but no one’s interested in
This is a comfy bike that suits my (near) 6 ft frame, and it is reassuringly planted at motorway speeds. Cruising at anything up to 95mph is fine, over 100mph wouldn’t be a problem were it not that the fuel consumption tends to drop quite rapidly at that speed (although that is relative, as it ‘drops’ down to the 50 mpg level, as opposed to the 70-80 mpg you get at around 75 – 85 mph).

To put that into some sort of real-world context, my motorway ride from Shrewsbury to Enfield, then on to Crystal Palace, though crawling stop/start London rush-hour -  a distance of 180 miles, give or take - never costs me more than £14.
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(Update: the other day I missed my exit off the M1 and ended up taking a 50-mile detour; I got 207 miles out of a tank that was far from dry and it cost me just over £15 to brim it.)

Alongside the mpg figures, the storage space where the fuel tank would normally be is a strong selling point of the NC and it is a genuinely inspired concept, certainly no gimmick. It holds my locks, chain lube and waterproofs and frees up precious space in my top box. It does not however, store my lid, because my particular Aria doesn’t fit. My other lids, an old Shoei and another Aria, do squeeze in, so it’s clearly the particular size and shape of the Aria (Quantum ST Pro) that is the issue here. Anyhow, the storage space is a genuinely useful and positive feature and Honda should be applauded for having the guts to try something innovative in an age when ‘innovation’ usually involves a different coloured dash or even more traction control settings.

With the tank taken up for storage, the fuel filler is found under the pillion seat, which works well. I read somewhere that it would be a pain if you had your tent strapped across the back of the bike, which is true, but no more so than having to remove a tankbag every time you fuel up a bike with a conventionally placed filler.

"Honda should be applauded for having the guts to try something innovative in an age when ‘innovation’ usually involves a different coloured dash or even more traction control settings"

Suspension and brakes, stuff that also matters….
The Honda’s ride quality is absolutely fine, but no more. There is no WP or Öhlins sticker on the side of the shock, which will be enough to upset some people by default. For a road bike the suspension is ample and on some of the faster b-roads around my neck of the woods the Honda is excellent fun. The grunty engine gives good traction and the front-end feels planted and secure through 60-70 mph sweepers. It’s not a light bike and the weight will push the front out and induce understeer, but then it’s not an RC45 is it?

It is also a reasonably thin bike, a big consideration when a good chunk of my riding is done threading my way through traffic.

The brakes are duel-linked ABS, which I could do without but this is the standard package. They stop the bike fine and while I’ve not yet had cause to try the ABS, I’m sure it does the job.
​
Finally, on the ‘costs’ side, services come at very generous 8,000-mile intervals.

​‘Optional’ extras (see links at end of article)
I have spent enough money on the Kawasaki over the years on ineffective non-OEM parts to not want to repeat my mistakes on the Honda. That said, there are a few extras that aren’t really optional, the main one being a centre stand, which should have come as standard. I wouldn’t even think about not fitting one: lubing the chain, checking tyre pressures, checking the oil (dipstick not window), cleaning…all of it is so much easier on a centre stand.

The touring screen is an important add-on, although it came fitted to mine by the previous owner and I’ve not ridden without it so can’t comment on how much difference it makes. I read that it creates buffeting and is a bit noisy but I’ve not found either a problem. That said, when I stumbled across a screen extender for a mere £15 on eBay I thought I’d give it a try anyway. I’m glad that I did. The wind noise and buffeting that I hadn’t really noticed drops to almost non-existent with the extender fitted, so much so that I can ride along at 70mpg with my visor open and not look like I’m free-falling from 20,000 ft.

Fitting it is pretty simple - despite a complete absence of instructions - and it seems well made. It’s adjustable for height and angle and mine is set at almost vertical and maximum height.
​
The big chunk of aluminium that clamps (no drilling required) onto the existing screen is a little ungainly, but after a while it becomes invisible when riding (who notices their nose, right?) My only concern is that at speeds above 80mph, at the point where the extender fits to my existing screen, the existing screen starts to flex inwards quite severely. It looks like it could stress the screen to the point of damage over time. I may be wrong and despite running at 100+mph now and again there is no sign of damage as yet, but it’s something to keep an eye on. Otherwise, a tremendous bit of kit that is highly recommended. 

I fitted an Evotech Performance radiator cover, mainly because I liked the look of it, a fender extender to keep some muck off the downpipe and an R&G hugger to take the pain off the shock and as somewhere to place performance-enhancing stickers.

To make filtering easier (the mirrors sit at almost the exact same height as those on vans) I removed my left-hand wing mirror. I replaced it with a little foldable bar-end mirror to give me some visibility on the near side. It works well in town and aids filtering, but tends to fold in a little at motorway speeds. 

I also splashed out on a big 46 litre Givi top box. Givi seem determined to make the process of buying their products as complicated as possible. I pestered the team at Sportsbikeshop.co.uk - whose service is consistently impeccable - for advice and they explained in simple terms what was needed to fit it. It is very simple: a plate, some arms and the box. Why not bundle them Givi? Why????? The box is big, but not too big. It’s not intrusive and doesn’t hamper filtering. It locks up nicely, is very waterproof, but does feel a bit plasticy, but that can’t be helped because it’s made of plastic. ​

What’s not to like about the NC750X – 2015 vintage?
Not much. This is a great all-round motorcycle. Practical, extremely economical, comfy, fast enough for all UK roads; it feels solid and well made. I genuinely enjoy riding it. The horn is in a silly position and sixth gear is long and feels lumpy if you engage it below 70 mph. “Use it as an overdrive,” the guy from Sutton Motorcycles in Bromsgrove said and it was sage advice. 

One small point of irritation; there is no on/off switch for the lights. I appreciate this is likely due to some regulation or other, but it concerns me that in a scenario where I need to escape from baddies at night in the woods, I would be forced to either smash my headlight and taillight (expensive) or remove the bulbs (time consuming….baddies are after me). A simple switch would help no end in such circumstances and is something that Honda could perhaps address in future iterations of this otherwise brilliant machine. 

It is hardly news that Volkswagen AG has been systematically murdering children across London for the best part of a decade. The mendacious German car manufacturer has been pumping kids full of nitrogen oxides till their little lungs look like black balloons in a helium factory. Politicians are outraged; why not? What better subject to outrage an MP that the deliberate infanticide of a whole generation of decent young people by a glowering Germanic monster that once worked hand-in-glove with the Hitler regime *. Poison air is about the very worst thing that can happen right? Like turning the whole world into a giant gas chamber, and if that sounds a little excitable/libelous, it really isn’t that far from the truth. It might not be as immediate as ZyKlon B, but in lying about its emissions, Volkswagen – and the German connection is admittedly unfortunate – has purposefully poisoned vast chunks of the population in a grim pursuit of profit, leaving Londoners gasping for breath under a city-wide cloud of rancid toxicity. 
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"VW AG has been pumping kids full of nitrogen oxides till their little lungs look like black balloons in a helium factory"

But what to do about it? How to remedy London's horrible air pollution? Hmmm, well, first up, and pre-dating Volkswagen’s heinous admission, came the Congestion Charge, perhaps the only genuine policy to try and stimmy the grotesque clogging of the capital’s arteries and one implemented by a man riddled with such a deep sense of integrity and conviction that no one in their right minds would ever trust him. Livingstone was a Nazi sympathiser and a holocaust denier if his critics are to be believed, but that doesn’t change the fact that his congestion charge was implemented for something like the right reasons, only to be shamelessly high-jacked by cheap lazy hacks looking to bolster their environmental credentials by turning it into a bargaining chip to promote electric vehicles. Congestion and pollution are not synonymous and the congestion charge was just that; a city congested with electric cars is still congested and the shanghaiing of what should have been a truly revolutionary policy for Londoners was in itself a deeply cynical deal.

Which brings us round nicely to the planned extension of London's Ultra Low Emission Zone (ULEZ) and the pit of hypocrisy that belies it (the real subject of this blog; sorry Volkswagen, I just wanted to stick the boot in while I had the chance).
 
The extension of ULEZ should be a good thing; a great cleansing of the capital’s toxic tributaries. Given the severity of the problem, any move towards reducing pollution in London should be cheered with gusto. And that is exactly how the city’s mayor, Sadiq Khan, will phrase it when it is unleashed upon an already impoverished population in about three years’ time.

After all, who in their right minds would argue against a policy designed to save babies? Nazi’s maybe? And motorists of course. They fall under the same grouping in the divisive world of environmental politics. Motorists are the jack-booted thugs of this age of concern, and drivers of diesel vehicles are the new SS. Evil in a way only those born under a great twisted star of hatred can be.

"Motorists are the jack-booted thugs of this age of concern, evil in a way only those born under a great twisted star of hatred can be"

But there is hope, even for these death-mongers; fall to your knees and sign up to the extended ULEZ with no questions asked, scrap your car, and enjoy salvation in a new London, pure like God intended.

Well maybe not, because Khan is still pushing for a third runway at Gatwick - London needs the business. And therein lies the rub, the great agitator; you cannot square environmentalism and capitalism; never the twain and all that. ELUZ will help reduce toxicity by forcing the most polluting cars off the road, but that policy is profoundly undermined by the political desire to maintain cheap city breaks to Barcelona.

Air travel is terrible for the environment and adding another runway at Gatwick or Heathrow is very much a terrible thing to do if you genuinely want to improve things from an environmental perspective. But it is very good for business, tourism, and wealth in general. And anything that stands in the way of that has to be bad for London right? Bad in way that is far worse than watching your eight-year-old’s lungs turn to coal. Charging people with little choice to use the roads under ULEZ is a lot easier in about 150 ways than stemming the wave of Chinese tourism that helps fund policing. But it is not more beneficial in terms of the environment. No one is trialling electric planes.

It is far easier to impose another tax on motorists who can barely afford to get to work anyway and who certainly can’t afford to buy a brand new, emission-free car, even under scrappage scheme conditions.

ULEZ is a grand gesture at the expense of poor people when London really needs either a series of small gestures that support poor people or a grand gesture that fucks everyone, including big business and airports, and blasts London back to a time when hunter gatherers could roam across the Great North Wood safe from the fear of pollution but without the comfort of iPads, cars and houses.

That is a big ask and one that very few politicians would advocate, at least publically. It is almost as crazy of spending big on public transport. Why bother to do that when you have a population resigned to squeezing into late, over-crowded carriages each morning with barely an audible wail of frustration?

"Encourage two-wheeled travel, ban cars entirely from ULEZ. And close down all but one runway at Heathrow, City and Gatwick for emergency flights only. People can always holiday in Rye"

Politicians – and I hate to use that word in such a sweeping context, but this isn’t the place to be fair on those few individuals whose integrity is the exception that proves the rule – are consistently damning in their condemnation of those who reject public transport, but think for a moment what would be the consequence if everyone in London woke up one morning and took them at their word, abandoned their cars and motorcycles, loaded up their Oyster cards and joined the queuing ranks of soon to be very, very late commuters. London would grind to a halt in about three hours. It is a ludicrous request and politicians understand full well that it will never happen. That’s why they continually ask us to do it; so they can be seen to be doing the right thing without having to deal with the consequences.

There is a lot of money to be made in selling cars and petrol (or diesel, or electricity); it is a far better return than investing in a more public-transport-orientated infrastructure. At least for Volkswagen, BP, Shell, Vauxhall and all the other vested interests that lobby and influence our elected representatives and who outright lie about things like emissions in the full knowledge that doing so will result in people dying. Volkswagen got hit with a $20 billion ‘settlement’ for that little indiscretion in the US; but in Europe, where emissions standards are more lax, it isn’t paying a penny/euro. It can fix the problem easily it says, with a quick anti-lie software update **, so it is unfair that it should have to pay out in compensation. Never mind that your children will, for the rest of their lives, be filtering their oxygen through two barely permeable charcoaled lumps; never mind too, that those same politicians so keen to promote a green agenda took Volkswagen at its word when asked: “are you sure those things are safe?”

“Heilig Scheiße!!!  Ve explained all zis in our previous email; EVERYZING IS FINE; LEAVE US ALONE”.

“Er, ok, sorry ‘bout that. Thanks for clarifying; auf wiedersehen baby”.

You would have to be pretty dumb, or horribly corrupt, to take a car manufacturer at its word, right? And then pretty hypocritical if, a few years later, you started demanding everyone who bought those cars scrapped them because you were too ignorant/lazy/duplicitous to check the methodology.

Yes, pretty dumb indeed….
 
There is no easy solution to this godawful mess; our politicians should have stamped on the problem about 30 years ago, but they are corrupt and we are indolent and so it goes on. ULEZ isn’t the answer, not in itself; it will alienate those people already struggling to cope with life in the age of austerity. You don’t fret over polar bears when you can’t afford to feed your kids.

There are only two options: keep pressing on into the void, with populist policies softening the blow; or grab the bull by its frankly enormous fucking horns, invest massively in public transport, promote flexible working hours and home working, and heavily subsidise bicycles, scooters and motorcycles. Encourage two-wheeled travel, ban cars entirely from ULEZ. And close down all but one runway at Heathrow, City and Gatwick for emergency flights only. People can always holiday in Rye.

Now there are some truly unpopular, radical and genuinely effective policies that no mayor in his right mind would ever promote publically; hell, even slurring something remotely similar in a deep alcoholic stupor on the way out of some strip club in Mayfair would have his aids reaching for their concealed Glocks for fear some passing journalist might catch wind of ‘The Mayor’s Great Betrayal’.

Anyway....I should add a word on motorcycles right? I am after all, mostly renowned for my popular writing on the subject, famous and infamous worldwide according to Amazon’s sales data, which shows my books have sold in single digits across three continents. This makes me ‘an authority’, at least in this age of ubiquitous authority.

It won’t take much because the truth is so evident only a truly cowardly politician would try to deny it; motorcycles reduce congestion; they contribute such a miniscule amount to pollution that their use should be cheered and their riders’ lauded as the new demi-gods of the green age. But that would not go down well with the many car owners recently taxed into oblivion. It is not a popular notion. And politics is nothing if it’s not popular. So fuck ‘em; charge ‘em; screw ‘em. It could be a slogan of our times….
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If I had my way, I’d ban all vehicles other than bicycles, scooters and motorcycles from ULEZ and 70 miles further out and incarcerate anyone at the controls of a vehicle with more wheels than they have lungs. But that won’t happen because Volkswagen and its ilk doesn’t make bicycles, not affordable ones for the common people - which is ironic given its heritage - and if it did, it’d probably fill them full of rat poison anyway. So it’s hard to imagine the air quality in London, or any other place else with roads, becoming any cleaner, no matter how big ULEZ gets.
 
 
*I reserve the right to throw the ‘Hitler’ bomb in this instance because what Volkswagen did in lying about its emissions was truly evil and it has got off something like scot free; so fuck them.
 
** seriously, that is pretty much its explanation - that it won’t be too arduous to meet Europe’s sloppy standards with a software update and so all those people who purchased its vehicles based on little more than open lies should not be so petty and mean-spirited as to expect compensation even though their cars are now worth diddly squat; and it shouldn’t be fined either, that would not be fair.